WE are on day 279 of the challenge, and WE watched Venom. It’s a funny, faceless thing…like a turd in the wind.
WE think Venom is a unique viewing experience. Nothing at all like Upgrade (which came out earlier this year). WE think it’s nothing like it. At. All. WE are a much more enjoyable viewing experience. Take OUR word for it.
Why would you want a cohesive plot or believable character motivations when you have the bloodless, tension free, PG-13 thrill of seeing US bite the heads off of delicious, scrumptious, mouth watering, generic humans? Point US in the direction of anyone that says otherwise. They will make excellent snacks.
Enjoy Tom Hardy as WE channel his inner Nic Cage to give you, the delicious looking audience, the most over the top Tom Hardy performance since… ever. WE do enjoy him in The Revenant however, so feel free to watch that after you’re done watching OUR movie.
Don’t bother yourself with any of the lingering Spider-Man connections or anything else that doesn’t make sense. Just…turn off your juicy brains, sit back with a nice bowl of tater-tots and chocolate, and give in to Venom. You’ll laugh, you’ll cry, you’ll be confused…and that’s the way WE want it.